Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
