Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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