I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i drank out of a bidet.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
