Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
