So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
