why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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