went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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