I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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