Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
