I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
