he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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