i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
