Im at strip club and am horny
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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