i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
