I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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