Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
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Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
And then he peed in my hair
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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