Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
