Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
