I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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