All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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