I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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