i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
