I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the day after is always just damage control
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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