guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
