he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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