Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
