Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
