Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
