covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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