Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
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Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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