8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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