Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize