we're blogging at a bar
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
