Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
