I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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