I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
