Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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