you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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