dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
