sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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