I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
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I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
sex in a hospital.. check
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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