This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
