was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
