So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
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it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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