what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
