Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So many bounce houses so little time
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
