My room smells like vodka and shame
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
