my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize