In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
