i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
