I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize