I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
