Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
nutella sex= disaster
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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