dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
