The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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