So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
