yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
