umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize