Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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