thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
