On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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