you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
