Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
